Real English Eight=Get away～

My friend Ms. N told me a funny story the other day.  

She said, "You'll never believe what happened.  Two weeks ago, there was a 3-day weekend, so my daughter rented a bunch of CD's and a blu-ray disc last Friday.  But she couldn't watch the disc, 'Die Hard', which was due on the 16th, because she didn't have enough time.  And she had to work on Monday the 16th,  so she asked my husband and I to return it for her.  We drove to T-Rental Shop, and I waited in the car while my hubby ran in to return it.  When he came back he wasn't empty handed.  He  was holding a black case and I thought it was strange so I asked him, 'Did you rent another DVD or something?" and he said, 'No.  Listen to this.'"

Staff:  How can I help you?
My Husband:  I couldn't watch "Die Hard".  So I want to rent it again.
S: Oh, you couldn't watch it ?
MH: Yeah, I couldn't watch it........
S: From the beginning or from the middle ?
MH:.... From the beginning.....
S: Sometimes discs are not compatible with certain players.
MH: ..................
S:  (Handing him a DVD) Please try this DVD,  not the blu-ray, this week.  I am sorry for the inconvenience
MH: Thank you very much sir.  

"And he ran out of there as quick as he could.  I can't believe he got away with it.  Well, actually, he didn't lie.  He just didn't say the whole truth...  As soon as he got in the car, I told him, 'You naughty boy!!  Put the pedal to the metal and let's get out of here!'"

Here are some other uses of "get away"
1.  Get away from me you scumbag!
2.  Stop that guy! He just shoplifted! Don't let him get away!
3.  I am stressed out recently. I really need to get away for the weekend.
4.  You'll never get away with that!

Strollers

Last Sunday I went for a stroll along Mukogawa River with my wife. When we stopped to catch our breath on a bench, we struck up a conversation with the couple sitting next to us.  The two husbands (me and the other guy) sat their obediently (like dogs) while the two wives chatted up a storm. 

Kyoko: That's a nice stroller you have there.

Keiko (a mother):  Yeah, it's great. It's Aprica's Air Ria!  It has made my life so much easier since I had a baby. I honestly couldn't live without it.

Kyoko:  Ahhh!!! She is soooo cute!!! How old is she?

Keiko: Nine and a half months old.

Kyoko:  What's her name?

Keiko: Rena.

Kyoko: That's such a beautiful name.

Keiko:  Thank you.  My husband picked the name.  

Kyoko: I heard there are so many different stroller companies.  Why did you choose Aprica? Why this one?

Keiko:  Aprica is the best, hands down!  Aprica strollers are the safest in the world! 

And Rena always says to me; 

"Mom, this is a smooth ride!! And comfy!  I have a lot of room to move around and I never get stiff shoulders!!  And I feel safe!!  I never slide down or fall out of the seat like all of the other kids do!  And my skin is white and beautiful because of the special mesh which blocks Ultraviolet Rays! And I never catch a cold because the rain cover is great and keeps me dry when it rains hard. And even when it is only 5 degrees Celsius outside like today, it doesn't matter because I feel snug as a bug in a rug in here!!  THANK YOU FOR BUYING THE APRICA AIR RIA FOR ME MOM!!!"

Kyoko: Wow!! She talks a lot!!  I didn't know kids begin talking at such a young age!!

Keiko:  Haha...You'r e  gullible.  Of course they don't! I was just joking about Rena talking, but everything else about Aprica, and the Aprica Air Ria is true!  I swear on it!  First and foremost, Aprica makes their products from the perspective of the baby, the rider, which is the most important thing! And after that, they focus on making life easier and more convenient for the mother and father, the pusher and carrier.  It is light-only 4.8 kg- so it is easy even for a woman like me who is small to carry around. And compact so it is easy to store in the house and the car.  It also fits into the elevator without a problem and the storage compartment on the bottom is excellent!

Kyoko:  You should be a spokesperson for Aprica. That's was a great sales pitch!

Keiko:  Well, it's easy to "sell something" when you believe in it as much as I do.  Seriously, if you know anyone who is interested in, or in need of, a stroller, please recommend them to check out this site.  If they are lucky, they might be selected as a monitor to use it for free.  Even if they are not chosen, I guarantee you they won't be disappointed! 
https://f.msgs.jp/webapp/form/14172_czu_168/index.do

Kyoko:  I'm sold.  Will do!  Yeah know, it was really nice talking to you.  We have got to be going now.  Enjoy the rest of your day!

Keiko: You too!

    

Real English Seven-I am on it!

I couldn't believe my eyes when I turned on the news last night.
A meteor!!
I thought I was watching a movie!!

The headlines this morning: "Meteor shower injures hundreds in central Russia"!!
What would you do if you were caught in a meteor shower?
If me, I would take cover or run for my life!

To change the subject, a famous interior designer told me today, "Your new arrangement in the classroom is great!"  That compliment, coming from her, really meant a lot to me.

Last weekend, I was in "re-arrange mode."  On Saturday night I rearranged the classroom to make the one-to-one lessons with the computer more comfortable, enjoyable, and efficient.  Then on Sunday, focused my efforts on our apartment.
It all began a few weeks ago when Kyoko said to me, "Our place is too small and cluttered.  We need more space!  Clean up your stuff!"
I said, "Yes sir, Boss. I am on it!!"

After thinking about how to rearrange my apartment for about a week or so, last Sunday I took action.  It took about 5 hours to clean up, move some furniture around, and throw some stuff away, but it was worth it!
What a difference a little time and effort makes!
To say it looks like a new apartment would be an exaggeration, but it does look much better because I created A LOT OF space.  I was satisfied with the final product and ,ore importantly, so was the Boss!  When she saw the "new room", I asked her, "So what do you think?" She replied, "Not too shabby!!"
I don't want to toot my own horn or anything, but to be honest, I did a stellar job!!

"on it" is used in many expressions.
Do you understand the below?

1.  Count on it.
2.  Get on it!
3.  Sleep on it.
4.  Don't bet on it.
5.  I'm working on it.
6.  Let's shake on it.
7.  Keep a lid on it.
8.  Keep an eye on it.
9.  Let me in on it.
10. Pull the plug on it.

Makoto's English Blog

I wanted to share Makoto's English Blog with everyone. Makoto writes a blog in Japanese regularly, but he usually doesn't write in English.  He forwarded me a copy, and I want to share it with everyone because it's great!  

"I went to Nozawa Hot springs again.

I went there with my wife and our friend, beginner woman who always went skiing with me.

I am really busy now. But I took a 3-day holiday.

So I didn't drink at the bar which many American or Australian often get together, because I brought my job.

It's a shame to not have experiences to talk to some people from overseas.

I skied in the day time. Instead, I worked with my computer after dinner both 2 days.

However, I suddenly had a chance to speak English.

The minshuku's owner always bring us to the ski slope by his car, small track.

When we left in his car, 2 foreigners told us.

"To Nagasaka (one of the ski slope's name) this way?"

We asked "Yes". But it was so far to Nagasaka ski slope, so we gave them a ride on our car.

I don't remember exactly what we talk about.

Below are our conversation in the car.

Me: Where are you from?

They: Australia, Sydney. Where are you from?

Me: We came from Osaka. When did you arrive at (←in?) Japan?

They: ????????(I don't remember..) We ???? Tokyo 3 days, and we came here yesterday. ??????? to Saturday.

Me: one week? Is this your first time to Nozawa?

They: Yes, very nice hot springs. When did you come here?

Me: We arrived here 2 days ago.

They: How long do you stay?(←I don't remember how they said)

Me: We have to leave here today. Did you take some (←any?) hot springs?

They: No. ??????? very hot.

Me: Really hot. There are 13 hot springs in the village. We can take free.

My wife said to me "ask them if they came only 2"

Me: ………..(I didn't know how I asked them)

Now I think, I should have said "Did you come here with any other friends?"

The car arrived at the gondola station. They walked to somewhere to say thank you.

Me: Have a nice skiing day.

They: You too.

I want to improve my English."

Real English Six-Get out of here!

No, that's not what my wife said to me last night at our house when I said a stupid joke that annoyed her  She isn't so cruel!!  It was freezing out there!!!

When I woke up Friday morning and looked outside, it was a winter wonderland!  Snow was falling everywhere!!  I was in awe of the beauty, but at the same time I was worried about the roads.  I don't want to slip on the ice and hurt myself.  So, just to be on the safe side, I put on my snow boots and walked to the station.  About one hour later I arrived safely in Honmachi and my feet were dry too!  

Later in the afternoon, I met my friend for coffee at Starbucks.

Here's a small part of our conversation:

Me:  Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to meet me.  How have you been?

Friend:  Not bad, how about you?

Me:  Same as usual, can't complain.

Friend:  That's good.  Hey, did you do that festival last weekend, what's it called...

Me:  You mean the one where you have to eat a sushi roll without talking til you finish it, throw soy beans at one of your family members who is wearing a devil's mask, then throw soy beans outside of the house while saying "Get out Bad Luck," and then throw beans inside and say "Come in good luck!", and also eat the same number of beans as your age plus one? 

Friend:  Yeah, that's the one.

Me: It's called Setsubun.  And yeah, I did it.  Actually, it is one of my favorite nights of the year.

Friend: Really? Why, you love the beans?

Me:  I like the beans, but actually that's not the reason. 

Friend: Don't leave me hanging, man.  Why?

Me: Because it is a silent night! My wife can't talk, it's the rule!

Friend: I got it. That's hilarious!  By the way, who picks up all of the beans that are on the floor?

Me:  I don't know, but not me.  And let me tell ya a funny story about the beans.  I went grocery shopping with the Mrs. on Sunday night, and there were two bags of beans I was interested in, so  I asked her, "Which one do you recommend?"  She said, "This one!"  Of course it was the more expensive one...And then after the very silent, great dinner, I took 39 beans out of the bag and began eating them one by one. After about 3 beans, I thought, "This must be a new version, or new product, because they taste different, strange, and a little chewy, not crunchy and dry like the usual ones...I regret buying this package. I wish I had bought the other one...but I have to eat all 39...." Then, I said to Kyoko, "These are BAD!"  And she looked at the package and said "Oh, I am sorry. I made a mistake,  These beans are not cooked yet, they are raw!  Stop eating them immediately or else you will get a stomach ache!!!"

Friend: Get outta here!

Me: I am serious.  But the next day after I came home from work, there were two bags of the regular beans which I like waiting for me on my bar counter.  As I always tell you, she is a great wife.

To change the subject, I saw on TV that the "Skiing Boom" is back!  

As you can tell from his photos below, Mr. M is enjoying it!

Liger

The other day, Mr. W sent me an email with the above photo. This the email:

"Hello Glenn.

How's everything going?

As you know I went to Hainan Island with my family last month.

We had a great time.

While we were there, we went to an zoo. It was really interesting!

I attached a photo. Do you know what kind of animal it is?"

I replied:

"Of course I do.  It is a lion!"

He responded:

"As I thought. You are not as smart as you look! You are wrong! It is called a Liger! It is half lion (the father) and half tiger (the mother)!  And this Liger is a male.  If it were a female, it would look like a tiger!  If you don't believe me, then google it!"

I didn't believe him, so I did exactly as he said, I googled it.  He was right.

Real English Five-stand

The other day I had a meeting with my friend Mike.  After we wrapped up the business discussion, he dropped a bombshell on me.  Here is how the conversation went:

Mike: Now that we got that out of the way,  I have something to tell you, some big news.

Glenn: Should I sit down?

Mike: Nah, you can stay standing up.

Glenn: Cool. So what is it?

Mike:  I decided to get married.  I haven't popped the question yet, I am going to do it soon.  How did you do it?

Glenn:  I proposed to Kyoko on September 2nd, at our barbecue.  It was around 5pm and the weather was nice.  Actually, we weren't speaking at the time because we were in a fight...but after she saw the diamond, we made up and ate a lot of barbecued beef, chicken and pork!  Anyway, how long have you been together?

Mike:  14 years.

Glenn: 14 years?! Really?  That's a long time to keep someone waiting.  

Mike: I know.  I am a slow mover. It takes me a while to do things.

Glenn:  Well, let me know how it goes.  I hope she says "Yes"!

Mike:  What do you mean hope?  Of course she will say Yes.  It's a gimme.

Glenn:  Don't count your chickens before the hatch, Mike. Nothing is a gimme.  But, I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

Mike:  Thanks a lot. I appreciate it!

Let me tell you a little about Mike.  I met him about 5 years ago while standing in line to get into my favorite Happy Hour place.  He stood out because he had long blond hair at that time.  He is a stand-up guy who used to be a stand-up comedian before he became a teacher.  In addition, he always stands up for what he believes in.  If I was ever sick, I am sure he would stand in for me and be a substitute teacher.  

The photos below are from Mr. W's trip to Hainan Island in China.